To Have or Not to Have a baby shower for your second child



 

 



I've been reading up on BabyCenter to see whether or not it is a good idea to have a baby shower for a second child.  Apparently, a lot of mom's think it isn't a good idea unless it is the opposite gender of your first child.  I'd like to say I don't agree.

Before my second child was born, a good friend of mine wanted to throw us a baby shower. I told her it wasn't necessary, but she insisted that this baby get a shower just like how our first one did.

We decided to have the shower a couple months after the baby was born. This was actually a great idea because it meant that we wouldn't have a lot of visitors right away.  I don't know about how other moms feel about this, but I remember when my first child was born, it was very overwhelming having a whole bunch of people visit right away.  I understand everyone was excited for us and they wanted to see our newest member of our family. In my own experience, it was hard to deal with having a lot of visitors while trying to heal from an emergency C-section and having massive sleep deprivation. Of course I wanted everyone to meet our little one but there had to have been a better way of going about it.

Having a baby shower a couple months after having your second child allows you to heal the way you need to and people don't feel like they need to rush to meet your baby. It gives you a chance to be with your baby without being overwhelmed with company.  And the great thing is, everyone still gets to meet your little bundle of joy when you finally have healed and have more energy.  You are able to enjoy being around everyone and not feel stressed.

And as for gifts, don't feel bad that you are putting on a shower for your second child because your friends and family are excited for you and they want to get your little one something special.

6 Steps to transitioning an only child into a loving sibling, THE EASY WAY!

We all get that fear of wondering how our first child will handle a new sibling . We often worry that the child will act out of jealousy. Luckily, there are ways to get your only child excited about becoming a sibling. Some of these steps have obviously not been invented by me, but they are ideas that I have taken from friends who have already been through the parents-of-siblings trenches. I hope this helps you as much as it helped me!

1. Give Notice.
Your belly is getting bigger, you will need to tell your child at some point. Talk about how much fun it will be once they have another sibling to play with. If you have a sibling, tell the child about how great it is. There are many children's books out there on becoming a big brother/ sister.
2. Big Sister/ Brother Day
This is the day your second child is born. Hype you first child up about it saying this is a very special day for her because it is the day she becomes a big sister. You can have a cake (or cupcake), balloons and a present waiting for your first child when she comes to visit you at the hospital. It would be a good idea to say the present was from the younger sibling.
3. Have small presents for the child when the baby gets gifts.
I'm not saying go to babies r us and buy your child a bunch of expensive toys, you can easily go to the dollar store and pick up some coloring books and small toys that she can play with. She won't get jealous of all the baby's nice new things because she received something small too.
4. Give your older child the attention she/he needs.
Spend time with her. Let her see she is a priority. Even if it is just for 15 minutes a day dedicated solely to her, she will feel loved and she will be less likely to act out.
5. Let her help you with the baby.
Diaper changes, bringing a blanket to the baby, helping with bath time, or getting her binky, she will like feeling that she has a helping role to play for her younger sibling.
6.  Let her love the baby in her own way.
If she wants to lay beside the baby on her play mat during tummy time, let her. Or if she wants to be in the crib with her for a few minutes, why not? This is her time to bond with the baby and be close with her. You could even allow her to hold the baby (obviously make sure they are both supported). Let her hold hands and give kisses.

Dealing with Monsters



For the past couple of weeks, my daughter has been scared of monsters during both day and night. She would wake up screaming at 4am saying there are monsters and dinosaurs in her room. It was starting to get out of hand when she believed they were in our backyard.

The other day we watched the 80s movie, The Last Unicorn, and she saw how a small unicorn was able to defeat a massive flaming bull. Using that idea, we decided to dedicate a small toy of hers that resembled the unicorn (it was a little pink and white Pegasus stuffed toy) and told her it would protect her from any monster by putting it to sleep.  We named him Glidicus.

She now takes him with her anytime she feels scared.  She has more confidence and now she can sleep through the night again. There are no longer monsters outside because Glidicus has put them all to sleep ;)

Baby-Got-Gas!!

A little laughter for the day:

I don't know if other parents do this, but my husband and I sure do; We normally take big name songs, change the words around so they relate to our kids, then sing it to them. Yesterday I was burping my infant and the rhythm to that "Baby-Got-Back" song got in my head for some reason, so I sung it to my baby using my own words.

Here it is:

Baby-Got-Gas
We like BIG BURPS and we cannot lie.
No other babies can deny,
When your mom picks you up to give you white stuff, you gulp it down, without a frown
We get gas!
Gotta burp it upwards
or send it downwards.
Bubbles they keep coming,
And the gas is quite alarming!
Baby Got Gas!

PS: I know it's not the whole song...but it still works :)

How to get a toddler to brush her teeth

Ok so brushing my toddler's teeth is literally like pulling teeth. Anytime I would tell her to brush her teeth she would run into different bedrooms screaming, "NOOOOO, NOOOOOO" and hide. My daughter is a huge Elmo fan and luckily my husband found that Elmo has a brushing teeth song on YouTube. I showed that to her and now it's hard to take the toothbrush away from her! Of course, she needs to watch that video every single time she brushes her teeth, but at least she is brushing!
If anyone else needs the song you can find it here:
Elmo Brushes Teeth

You're Welcome!

The MONSTER is OUT

I don't know if anybody else has experienced this, but the other night my 2 year old daughter decided it was a good idea to get up at 3:00am and run up and down our halls, in the dark screaming, "MONSTA EMMY, MONSTA EMMY!  ROOAAAARRRR!" I got up in my completely out-of-it tired state (because I just finished putting my infant back to bed) and asked her what she was doing and she would just repeat herself, "MONSTA EMMY! ROOOAAARR!"

Hmmm, no Little Bear before bed I guess? I hope this is only a one night thing...

Mother's "Intuition"

I strongly believe Mother's "intuition" exists! I can be fast asleep and dreaming, then wake up at 4:30am right before my infant wakes.  Now I might just be used to waking up at that time, but I strongly believe it is because something is warning me to wake up.  I am actually really glad about this "intuition" because if I woke up after her, that is actually quite a bit harder to get her to calm down; plus she might wake the whole house up with her cries of, "Get me food mom!!!"  So all you soon-to-be mothers out there who might be scared you won't wake up when you need to for the baby (ha, like anyone is scared of that!) you will either hear the child's screams or your intuition will kick in mid-dream and you will be "lucky" enough to wake right before insanity of feeding hits!

I wonder if other mother's feel the same way?

There are other forms of mother's "intuition" with children getting themselves into trouble; but that is for another blog ;)

22 Things about parenting they don't tell you!

1. Breastfeeding really really hurts.
2. Your sleep will never be the same. Don't expect to get any in the first three months. If you have more than one child, don't expect anything.
3. Say goodbye to Nordstrom and even Nordstrom Rack because Value Village has become your new best friend.
4. Kids have as much fun with a dollar store toy as they do a toy you bought for $50, at Babies R Us.
5. Stop the stuffy gifts as soon as you can, or your house will look like it exploded with stuffed toys.
6. Make sure you have a good supply of bubble mix.
7. Potty training is hard... It is very hard!
8. Co-sleeping in your bed is very normal. When your child is a toddler, you can expect to see your child coming into your room to snuggle.
9. Get into a routine as fast as you can, or you will regret it!
10. Sleep training is hard; Hence the routine.
11. Buy a cheap couch for your first 5 years of having children because yes, it will smell like urine eventually.
12. Getting out of the house will take at least a half hour to an hour longer than what you would expect it to. Leave yourself a lot of time.
13. The floor of you car will always have fruit snacks, gold fish crackers, and who knows what else scattered around everywhere, so invest in a good vacuum.
14. As per the floor of the car, your backseat windows and doors will have splatters of milk and juice everywhere consistently.
15. Always have a diaper bag handy... ALWAYS!
16. Your bedtime is way earlier than you would have ever imagined.
17. For the ladies, regular make-up and styling hair is a thing of the past. Say hello to your friend mascara and ponytails, or you cut your hair so short all you need to do is brush it.
18. The expectation of how you want to dress your child and how they end up dressing is totally different: lots of mismatching, just role with it!
19. If you were never a runner, well now you are! You'll become very good at chasing your toddler around the house to either brush her hair, brush her teeth, get her clothes on, get her shoes on, etc.
20. Your free time is your child's time.
21. You cherish your babysitters and pay them well because you found a good one that your toddler really likes.
22. Every single one of these crazy changes is worth it because you have this amazing little child who loves you and thinks the world of you.

My "Good" Days

I get asked plenty of times about how I'm doing managing a toddler and an infant. I always tell them the same thing. "I'm fine. I've just been getting less sleep. So we've been having good days." I truly believe my definition of a good day is probably way different than other people's definition of a good day. My idea of a good day really just means I survived another day without too many meltdowns from my kids and I don't have to go hide in a corner to calm my nerves.

For example, the other day my toddler had a meltdown over watching Mickey Mouse. I put on Mickey Mouse clubhouse for her, but she didn't want that Mickey. She also didn't want the Mickey starring the three musketeers, nope she wanted a very specific Mickey Mouse movie that she couldn't quite communicate, so she had a 10 minute tantrum until after going through six different Mickey shows on Netflix, I finally found it. But that was the extent of the tantrums that day so it was a "good" day.
Another example would be when my toddler also thought the kitty litter looked a lot like the sandbox we got for her, so she was playing in it. Cat litter and cat poop got everywhere. Not only did I have to clean cat litter out of the carpet, I had to wash my daughter down, while she is trying to hide and she was running around trying not to let me catch her. During that point I was just hoping my 1 month old daughter wouldn't wake up to the noise.
Each and everyday right now I am getting a maximum of 4-5 hours of interrupted sleep.
So yes, my days are good when there are minimal amounts of crazy. If I get one little bit of crazy a day, I would say I'm doing pretty good, if it's more than that, I'm probably wanting to pull my hair out.

The Chronicles of Potty Training (part I: Potty Training Boot-Camp)

I don't know how many of you agree with me, but potty training is HARD.  My mom used to tell me she had me potty trained in a week, at 2 years old.  HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? She said pull-ups weren't around during that time...I didn't think I was that old... so when the diaper came off, it stayed off.  Yes, I had accidents but I learned quickly.

Can I say the same for my potty training experiences with my daughter? NO... I've been reading up articles on Pinterest and Babycenter.com and tried a few things, and it isn't as easy as they make it out to be.  Something I have learned so far, patience and persistence is key (oh, and your kid needs to be ready for it)...and accidents are unavoidable (I say this because as I am writing this blog, Emily was cuddling me and then all of a sudden I felt a wetness on my side, and lo and behold she had a little accident and then ran to the potty to finish..at least she knew what was going on and tried her best to prevent it). Still need to go change and clean now.

ALL ABOUT POTTY BOOT-CAMP

**We got the boot-camp idea from the babycenter.com website.  You can find all the details here:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_potty-training-in-three-days-or-less_10310078.bc This is just what has happened to us, so far.

Two weeks ago, my husband and I decided to give Emily a potty training boot-camp over the weekend.  It was a good start-up to potty training throughout the week.

What that meant:
1. No diapers all day...
2. No pants all day... that's right.  She was naked from the waste-down ALL DAY, ALL WEEKEND.
3. There were rewards every time she peed in the potty. Our reward was she got a new Crayola "Twistables" Crayon every time she peed.  Some people do stickers, some candy, others a dance...it's whatever works best for you.

We had a portable potty available for her, as well as a potty in our bathroom...she doesn't like the toilet yet so we have stuck with having the portable potty in our family room.  We decided on the family room because she still has all her toys she can play with (there is carpet and some people might prefer a non-carpeted area).

Basically, we told her anytime she needed to pee, she needed to go on the potty.  The first day was interesting enough: She refused to pee until 1pm...I have no idea how she held it that long, but she did. We were able to get her onto the potty with a little bit of a fight and then she finally peed.  Once she realized she got a crayon out of it, she was way more willing to try the potty again.  By the end of the weekend, she was doing very well throughout the daytime with no diapers. Almost next to no accidents.

SUCCESS: While we are inside, Emily continues to be naked waste-down so she gets fully used to peeing in the potty...we even have success with poop! Yes there are still little accidents if she is taking a nap...but most of the time, she realizes this and stops herself so she can finish in the potty.

THE HARD PART: When we go outside, I put pants on her without a diaper. Potty training with pants and no diaper is a whole different story...and I am still struggling with it 2 weeks later. She still pees her pants, she does try to get to the potty but doesn't make it. I am trying to think of ways to get her to realize she needs to figure out it is time to pee, come and tell me, so I can get her on the potty in time. I'm hoping she will just get annoyed of getting wet... we will see.  This story will be continued another day. I think I will start by having her in pants with no diaper in the house, get her used to pulling her pants down to pee, then hopefully that will transfer to going outside.  We will see.

As of now, there has been no night-time potty training...we are only working on getting her trained during the day.  My main goal was to have her trained before baby #2 is here...which is very soon....ugh I definitely do not want to be changing 2 sets of diapers!

If you have any other suggestions about potty training that has worked for you, please feel free to comment! I am all ears :D

This is a blog that recounts the challenges and awesomeness of parenthood.  If you are a parent like me and you are just trying to get through the day-to-day, you will appreciate this blog by knowing there are other people out there who face the same issues...some frustrating, some absolutely hilarious. If you are a parent-soon-to-be, or thinking about becoming a parent, this is a great blog to prepare you on what to expect.

I hope you enjoy!

-Melissa Gray
Mother of 2